If you're reading this, chances are you're someone who takes your work seriously. Whether you're managing a demanding career, running a business, or juggling long hours and high expectations, your professional life likely requires a great deal of your time and energy. You've worked hard to get where you are, and that dedication doesn't just switch off when you come home.

 

But here's something I see often in my work with couples: the same drive and commitment that makes you successful at work can quietly take a toll on your relationship. Not because you don't care about your partner, but because there's simply less of you left to give at the end of the day.

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If this resonates with you, I want you to know that you're not alone, and there's nothing wrong with you or your relationship for struggling with this. The challenge of balancing a demanding career with a thriving partnership is one of the most common issues I see in couples therapy.

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When Work Takes More Than Time

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For couples where both partners have demanding careers, the pressures can compound quickly. You might find yourselves operating more like business partners or roommates than romantic partners, coordinating schedules, dividing household tasks, and managing logistics, with little energy left for meaningful connection.

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Over time, this can lead to feelings of emotional distance, loneliness, or resentment, even when both of you love each other deeply. You may notice more conflict over small things, or feel like your partner doesn't fully understand the pressures you're facing. Perhaps you've stopped sharing the details of your day because it feels like there's never enough time, or because you're too drained to talk.

Some couples also struggle with the invisible weight of decision fatigue. After a day of making high-stakes decisions at work, even choosing what to have for dinner can feel like too much. When both partners are depleted, it can be hard to show up for each other emotionally, and even harder to navigate disagreements with patience and care.

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Your Relationship Deserves the Same Investment as Your Career

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Here's the truth: relationships need tending. Just like your career didn't build itself, your partnership won't thrive on autopilot either. The couples I work with who are most successful are the ones who recognize that their relationship is worth prioritizing, even when life is busy. Especially when life is busy.

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This doesn't mean that you need to carve out hours every day for deep conversations (although that would be lovely). It means being intentional about small moments of connection: a genuine check-in before bed, a few minutes of undivided attention over coffee, or simply turning toward your partner when they share something with you instead of half-listening while scrolling through emails.

Research from the Gottman Institute shows that these small, everyday moments of connection, what Dr. John Gottman calls "bids" for connection, are actually more predictive of relationship success than grand gestures. Couples who consistently turn toward each other, even in minor ways, build a stronger emotional foundation over time.

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Why Virtual Therapy Works for Busy Schedules

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One of the reasons I offer therapy virtually is because I understand how challenging it can be to fit one more thing into an already packed schedule. For many of my clients, the idea of driving to an office, finding parking, and sitting in a waiting room simply isn't realistic.

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Virtual therapy removes those barriers. You can attend a session from your office during a lunch break, from home after the kids are in bed, or even while traveling for work. Both partners can join from different locations if needed. There's no commute, no wasted time, just the work of strengthening your relationship.

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I offer morning, evening, and weekend appointments specifically because I know that traditional office hours don't work for everyone. Flexibility matters, and I want therapy to feel accessible, not like another source of stress.

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When You Want Results Faster: The Gottman Couples Intensive

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For some couples, weekly therapy isn't the right fit. Not because they aren't committed, but because their schedules make consistent weekly sessions difficult to maintain. Others simply want to make faster progress and dive deeper into their relationship patterns.

That's where the Gottman Couples Intensive can be a powerful option. Instead of spreading sessions out over months, an intensive condenses the work into a focused, immersive experience. Over the course of two or three days, we work through assessments, identify patterns, and build skills together, all in a concentrated format designed to create meaningful change in less time.

Many of my clients find that this format fits better with their lives and allows them to return to their daily routines with new tools and a clearer sense of direction for their relationship.

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Taking the First Step

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If you've been telling yourself that you'll work on your relationship "when things slow down," I'd gently encourage you to reconsider. Things may never slow down, and your relationship is worth tending to now, even in the midst of a busy season.

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Reaching out for support isn't a sign that something is broken. It's a sign that you value your partnership enough to invest in it. And that investment, of time, energy, and care, can make all the difference.

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If you're ready to explore what couples therapy could look like for you, I'd be glad to connect.

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​Wishing you connection and balance,

Dr. Lauren

Lauren Smithee, Ph.D., LMFT

Deeply Rooted Therapy, PLLC